Why is the word 'spinster' a bad name?

I have a question for all the women out there past, we'll say the age of 40, who have never married, "Why is the word spinster a negative or bad word?

Merriam-Webster dictionary states that the definition of spinster is:

1: a woman whose occupation is to spin 2: a: archaic : an unmarried woman of gentle family b: an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying 3: a woman who seems unlikely to marry

The word spinster was used to refer to single women between the ages of 23-26, while 'thornback', from the Urban Dictionary (which is an entirely new word for me), is reserved for those 26 and above ‘An old, single, never-married woman. A spinster; i.e she’s so old she graduated from a spinster to a thornback.’ Either way you look at it, spinster or thornback is an insult.

I would consider myself an educated woman with numerous interests and a lot of friends. I'm comfortable in my own skin (now anyway) and I actually (finally) like myself. So why should I regard this as an insult?

So, here I am, sitting at my dining room table, eating Mr Christie's Arrowroot cookies and thinking how to start? That's the first thought. The second thought was, since when did I start liking Arrowroot cookies?

If I was between the age of 18 and 21 in Jane Austin's time, and maybe even up until the late 1950s, I might have agreed with the first line in her novel Pride and Prejudice "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." Luckily I wasn't... or is it luck? We shall see while I write this blog.... I like to call this "another way to 'help' myself".

Even though Pride and Prejudice is one of my favourite books, it's still hard to believe this was the way it was, not only then but to some small extent even today. I'm retired with a relatively good pension and the amount of people that have tried to set me up with their brothers, relatives or friends who have nothing, is truly mind blowing. I had a friend who, while very frustrated because I did not agree with her, state that she didn't see why I shouldn't want to marry <so and so> "He's single, you're single... what's the problem!?" The problem is this, I worked hard for over 30 years while this person decided he didn't want to nor had to work and is still living with his mother, who is older now and he will soon need someone to take care of him and the house he will inherit... to me that is the number one reason NOT to get married. She just couldn't understand why I didn't agree... I still shake my head. However, I would like to think, probably, that if I truly loved this person, then none of that would matter. I would like to think this, but.....

I have never experienced the phenomenon of "I MUST MARRY", but I have seen other people who have. Friends tell me that I'm so nice and I 'deserve' to be happy and should be married. After 40+ years of this 'kindness' (and it truly is, don't get me wrong) but no wonder myself esteem was low. I mean, come on, if I'm so wonderful why am I single? Right? So, logically, if I deserve someone nice and yet I do not have someone nice then there must be something wrong, and it probably is with me...

So, this is where I say, "...this is why I decided to write a blog called Viva la Female (the trials and tribulations of a spinster). I talk a lot and have so many experiences, good and bad, and they all can now be spoken of with humour. I decided to write about things that happened to me in my lifetime of being single. There is no end date to this, just some good old fashion writing with a spin of humour on my "trials and tribulations" of being single.

The title came to me one day when a friend of mine said she wrote a blog. I remembered another friend of mine also had a blog as well. I thought "I love to write...I could do a blog". My two besties and I have been doing a Creative Writing course over Zoom (a video app) because of COVID 19 and we thoroughly enjoy it. While thinking about a theme I had noticed a recently purchased notebook that I had bought for half price from Indigo... purple/burgundy a particularly favourite colour of mine. (Note: I love notebooks. I don't know why. I have dozens and for each one I try to justify buying them. They rarely get used, but I still buy them. I'm like a magpie for notebooks "oooo, look... pretty") The only thing that ruined it was the writing on the front. I remember scowling and thinking what a waste, I could have used this... then "ting" a thought came to me, the writing on the book was "Viva la Female"... I smiled and here I am...

I do hope this blog goes well, but I'm not worried because I already have 2 followers, Connie and Tracey, my besties..... so what more do I need?