Must Get Ready for the Beach!

Being a spinster, to me for some reason, brings the phrase 'given up' to mind. How many women have 'given up' when they get married or 'settle' into a longterm relationship?

As women, we tend to look and dress to feel attractive, and when we feel attractive... of course we 'attract'.

I actually had a spontaneous conversation with a friend about this the other day. How young girls are dressing and the expectations vs the reality. You know the old saying? "Look how she's dressed... she's just asking for it". Females are labeled provocative when she dresses differently than other females and men's eyes are drawn to that difference. Whether their butt cheeks are hanging out of their shorts or the wind blows a long skirt against her legs and outlines their shape. Remember when a lady's ankle, if shown, how that was 'scandalous'? Over the centuries that skirt has risen to just below said butt cheeks.

I remember what my mother use to tell me when I would ask why she didn't go and pluck those chin hairs, she would tell me: "I already got my man." I always replied "...and do you want to keep him?"

As stated, females dress to attract. We may fool ourselves into thinking that we do it 'to feel good'. I've asked myself why do I feel good when I take time to look 'attractive'? The answer? Because, the time I took paid off.... I was told I Iooked good by someone. I attracted someone's attention. Doesn't matter if male or female who said it...if a female noticed then most certainly a male noticed. Yes!! "I LOOK GOOD!"

Unfortunately, for females, the media sends out messages that dictates what's in fashion. What looks good. How much 'skin' is to be shown this season. How high or low a hem should be. It has always been like this. We can not blame the male population if we dress to attract but we fail to attract our intended target. It simply is not fair.

If you want to attract a male for sex, then congratulation, those midriff cut tee shirts and butt cheek revealing shorts are going to do the trick. You may be lucky and land a nice guy that you can take home to mother. Let's face it... when you're out trolling anything can get into that net. A nice guy may be attracted, but does he want to spend time with someone who thinks displaying butt cheeks is a good idea? Does he want to take you home to meet his mother? (The word butt cheeks is coming out frequently, but this fits perfectly into this rant...).

It's been my experience that you attract what you wear. It's also my experience that some men do not need to see those butt cheeks hang out. Men get attracted by so many different things. Just like women. As a single woman of my age, I have heard it all. We women can be delusional when it comes to how men react to what we wear. A dress so high that when you bend over... oops... a wardrobe malfunction occurs. Yet we blame men for looking. We call him a perv.... Men haven't changed much in the last 50,000 years or so.... some still think they can grab the female by the hair, haul her somewhere and have sex with her. Yet, if caught, somehow, it's the woman's fault for being too provocative. "If she didn't dress like that...it wouldn't have happened".

I myself was attacked and told it was my fault... "I was somewhere I shouldn't have been" it didn't matter that it was 8 hours before I was attacked in my own bed. "Isn't it true... you wanted him to go to your room that night?" Uh, no.... and come on, really? Even if I did want him in my room.... it doesn't mean I wanted to be attacked. Now, I'm not saying that you'll be attacked if you let your 'cheeks' do the talking for you but you certainly won't give the impression that you are a girl that a nice guy would want to take home to his mother.

Pro: as a spinster I get to dress as I please... it's called 'being eccentric' and completely ok to do so. At my age, you just get told.... 'if it's comfortable, wear it...'

Con: the first time I was told this, the first thing popped into my head was 'given up'. I really asked myself "Am I no longer attractive that no matter what I wear it actually... doesn't matter?

You know the saying "dance like no one is watching?" I think this is a great idea... unfortunately, there always seems to be someone watching.