Today I turned 59...

As a spinster:

Pro: people take pity on you and you get more gifts

Con: I don't want pity, just the gifts

Birthdays! I love birthdays! When I was a kid it sucked! Big time!

My birthday is the 2nd of November, right when the bills were delivered.

So, most birthdays it was "we'll get you something on the next pay". Sometimes it happened and other times not. I'm still waiting for a pair of jean overalls, I think it was overalls, it could have been a jean jacket. Doesn't matter...the point is... I didn't get it!

I remember a birthday when I received my gift and so did my younger brother. I must have been about 7 or 8. My mother told me years later the reason for that was if he didn't a gift too he would have a tantrum and they were bad at the age of 5 or 6 and she didn't want to deal with that. So to pre-empt the tantrum and to keep him quiet, she gave him a gift too. Fun.

I remembering feeling unloved and not worth the bother, that he was her favourite and loved him more, so much more. He was. She did. I probably still feel that way (to a certain degree), but that's another 'trial' I had to work thru about 35 years later.

Stories...I have so many stories. You can't see me now but if you could you would see me rubbing my hands together (mentally, a little hard to do while typing). My eyebrows are flicking up and down and I have a wicked smile on my face. I just realized that 99% of my stories include other people. Apparently I am pretty boring if I'm by myself. (hmmmm I'll have to analyze that thought).

As a spinster:

Pro: friends tend to forgive little slips of the tongue to old spinsters like me

Con: you only get so many 'get out of shit' cards, so try and use them wisely

For the sake of friendships I will not be mentioning any names of my so called accomplices. I thought about using initials but that wouldn't work, to easy to figure out. So, just remember my friends, I have stories and I know things; 'mooohaha'." Are you rethinking the size or expense of my gift?" Seriously,I tell my friends they don't have to get me anything as I pretty much have everything.

As a spinster:

Pro: you get to buy anything you want

Con: you have to pay the credit card bill all by yourself

I have ADHD so my brain jumped to a different thought. A friend's daughter (she's mine too) just started college. I saw her the other day at Walmart. We walked around together and I was asking questions like: 'how's it going?', 'had your first beer yet?' (of course she gave the appropriate answer...'No'. That started me thinking about when I left home.

On the day I turned 19 the military recruitment came to town. Three months later I was in Cornwallis, NS on my basic training. By the time my 20th birthday came around I had learned how to drink, or so I thought. I had gone to the Legion with a bunch of fellow recruits in two taxies up the road, down the road I don't know, my sense of direction is broken. I remember a band on a small stage, a round table and for some reason I was sitting on someones lap. I'm assuming there were not enough chairs. In the back of my head it really feels like there wasn't enough chairs.

So... the night went on and the next thing I remember I was getting out of a taxi and the sun was blinding me. Thru slitted eyes I stumbled to my barracks and climbed onto the top bunk and crashed. I felt a hand shaking me awake and I rolled over and peered down, eyes still slitted, "what?" I asked. l my Master Corporal (MCpl) and Sargent (Sgt) were looking up at me. The Sgt had a bowler (a uniform dress hat) in her hand and the MCpl stood behind her with a scowl. Sgt said "we found this in one of the men's barracks!" I just looked at it and replied "Oh, that's where it was, thanks" then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Now, for those of you who have never experienced the joys of being a recruit in the military, that was not a good thing to say or do to your superiors. So for the next nine years each birthday has a similar story. Some I could write here and others I wish I could forget. I can laugh now though when I think of them... craziness.

As a spinster:

Pro: you get to do what you want, when you want

Con: the consequences can and probably will, bite you in the ass. (I truly tried 3 different words for this but they didn't have the same dramatic effect)

Now, my birthdays are sedate. Some actually believe I'm lonely on my birthday and that I need company, when in fact I'm not lonely in the least. While I was drinking I remember the excitement of waiting to party. I would spread my birthday over 3 days. It was awesome. When I quit drinking and just hung out with friends who did drink it was still fun but I'll admit it felt like something was missing.

Now, however, I truly enjoy my "day of birth". I have something so much better than the state of excitement, I have friends who truly like me and love me. That was the thing that was missing.

I'll end here with a big virtual hug to all my friends, (a little extra squeeze for my besties). Friends are great to have around; good friends are comfortable and you can open up a bit. Besties are like water and air, you need them to breathe, to live. It's literally that simple

As a spinster:

Pro: besties love you unconditionally

Con: N/A